Safety Saturdays #21 - Going to and from School Safely

This week features more Back to School safety tips from The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® (NCMEC).

Their online publication Know the Rules ... For Going To/From School Safely offers tips to help parents and guardians prepare their children for a safer journey to and from school. You can also download the publication in English or Spanish.

If you missed it, check out last week's Safety Saturdays post for information on NetSmartz® Workshop's back-to-school campaign to raise awareness of the importance of Internet and real-world safety.

Did you learn any new safety tips from this information? Do you have any additional back to school safety tips to share?

Next week, Safety Saturdays will feature a NetSmartz® video, "Beat the Tricks," to help teach kids about tricks adults may use to get them into dangerous situations. If you have any specific questions about this topic, let me know through a comment or email. This will help me provide more information in the post.

I appreciate your feedback. Please feel free to leave a comment anytime, not just Saturdays. If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.

Check out all the Safety Saturdays posts for more safety tips.

Safety Saturdays #20 Back-2-School

After an extended summer break, I am reintroducing Safety Saturdays with back to school safety information and a request for feedback.

NetSmartz® Workshop, an Internet safety program of the The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® (NCMEC), has launched a back-to-school campaign to raise awareness of the importance of Internet and real-world safety.

Visit their website to download a free NetSmartz® Back-2-School Kit, including animated videos (see below for an example), hands on activities, and lesson plans for intermediate and primary age children. The material is worth the time it takes to download.

NCMEC's online publication Know the Rules...After-School Safety for Children Who Are Home Alone provides tips for parents and guardians to consider when allowing their child to be unsupervised at home. You can also download the publication in English or Spanish.

Would you be interested in Safety Saturdays being more interactive? For example, questions posed to stimulate conversation on a topic or a preview of the next week's topic with the opportunity to ask questions to be addressed in the post?

Check out all the Safety Saturdays posts for more safety tips. I appreciate your comments and feedback on any posts. If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.

Safety Saturdays #19 - What To Do If You See A Lost Child

What Should You Do If You See A Child Who Appears Lost?

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) encourages people to be alert and report suspicious situations regarding missing and exploited children.

NCMEC teaches children to seek out low risk adults if they become separated from their parent or guardian and need assistance. These individuals are identified as a uniformed law-enforcement or security officer, a store salesperson wearing a nametag, an information booth emloyee wearing a nametag, or a mother with children.

But what if you’re a regular citizen? Use the tips noted below if you see a child who appears lost.

• Don’t be afraid to get involved.
• Comfort the child but use restraint in physically touching the child.
• If the child is able to speak, ask if they’re lost or where their mother/father is.
• Refrain from requesting too much personal information, since children are taught not to give out this information to people they don’t know.
• If you have a cellular phone, contact authorities and report the incident.
• Try to find someone nearby in a position of authority who can assist.
• Do not take the child far from the immediate location.
• Do not put the child in your car and drive off seeking help.
• Ask passers-by to assist.
• Wait with the child until help arrives.

The information above is reprinted from NCMEC's website.

If you have any questions or would like a particular topic covered in a future post, please let me know in comments or by email. If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.

Check out all the Safety Saturdays posts for more safety tips.

Safety Saturdays #18 - Safety Rules for Grades K-6

The NetSmartz safety "rap" video below teaches kids (Grades K-6)
how to be safer offline.

View the Know My Rules for Safety video and other safety videos at NetSmartzKids.

When openly discussing safety issues with children, be calm and reassuring. Build the child's confidence. Do not focus on "stranger danger" because a child is more likely to be harmed by someone you or the child knows.

Safety Tips to Review with Children

1. Check first with parents, guardians or other trusted adults before going anywhere, accepting anything, helping someone, getting into a car, or leaving with anyone, including someone you know.
2. Take a friend with you when going places or playing outside.
3. Tell people "NO" if they try to cause you harm or you feel uncomfortable, scared, bad or confused, no matter who it is.
4. Tell a trusted adult if anything happens to you. It is never your fault.

To enhance safety information, practice what-if scenarios with children. For instance, you can reinforce checking first with a trusted adult with the following "what would you do if" situations:

1. A neighbor asks you to help bring in the groceries into their house
2. A man at the park asks you to help find his lost dog
3. A school friend's Dad asks you to get in his car
4. A teenager at the playground wants to give you candy

Visit the NetSmartz website to print a Knowing My Rules for Safety poster. You can also download or order the publication or a bookmark at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's website.

If you have any questions or would like a particular topic covered in a future post, please let me know in comments or by email. If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.

Check out all the Safety Saturdays posts for more safety tips.

Safety Saturdays #17 - More Summer Safety Tips

The last Safety Saturdays post featured general summer safety tips from The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC).

Summer frequently involves trips to theme parks and relative's homes. The links below highlight NCMEC publications with details on keeping kids safe at amusement parks and if traveling alone.

Know the Rules...Amusement or Theme Parks
Steps for parents and children to take when in an amusement or theme park

Know the Rules...Flying Unaccompanied
Rules to help make the flying experience for your child (under 18-years-old) safer

Know the Rules...Traveling Unaccompanied Bus/Train
Rules to help make travel by bus or train safer for your child

Check out NCMEC's free publications on safety issues, including the Know the Rules series.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post.

If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.

Check out all the Safety Saturdays posts for more safety tips.

Safety Saturdays #16 - Summer Safety Tips

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) provides several free publications on safety issues, including the Know the Rules series.

Know the Rules...Summer Safety Tips for Parents and Guardians*

• Be sure to go over the rules with your children about whose homes they may visit when you’re not there and discuss the boundaries of where they may and may not go in the neighborhood.
  
  
• Make sure children know their full names, address, and telephone numbers and how to use the telephone. Be sure they know what to do in case of an emergency and how to reach you using cellular or pager numbers. Children should have a neighbor or trusted adult they may call if they’re scared or there’s an emergency.
  
  
• Caution children to keep the door locked and not to open the door or talk to anyone who comes to the door when they are home alone. If you have arranged for a family friend or relative to stop by, make sure your children feel comfortable being alone with that person. Make certain they understand not to tell anyone who calls they are home alone.
  
  
• Don’t drop your children off at malls, movies, video arcades, or parks. These are not safe places for children to be alone. Make certain a responsible adult supervises your younger children at all times when they are outside and away from home.
  
  
• Teach your children in whose vehicle they may ride. Children should be cautioned to never approach any vehicle, occupied or not, unless accompanied by a parent, guardian, or other trusted adult.
  
  
• Make sure your children know to stay away from pools, canals, or other bodies of water without adult supervision.
  
  
• Since daylight lasts longer during the summer months, be sure your children know their curfew and to check in with you if they are going to be late. If you allow your children to play outside after dark, make sure they wear reflective clothing and stay close to home.
  
  
• Choose babysitters with care. Obtain references from family, friends, and neighbors. Many states now have registries for public access to check criminal history or sex-offender status. Observe the babysitter’s interaction with your children, and ask your children how they feel about the babysitter.
  
  
• Check out camp and other summer programs before enrolling your children. See if a background screening check is completed on the individuals working with the children. Make sure there will be adult supervision of your children at all times, and make sure you are made aware of all activities and field trips offered by the camp or program.
  
  
• Investigate daycare settings thoroughly before placing your children. Make certain the center or family-daycare home is licensed; completes full background screening for all employees at, volunteers of, and others affiliated with the facility; and allows parents and guardians to freely come and go as they wish. Observe the personnel and activities several times before making your decision and visit unannounced after placement.
  
  
• Be sure all custody documents are in order and certified copies are available in case your children are not returned from a scheduled summer visit.
  
  
• Always listen to your children and keep the lines of communication open. Your children are your best source for determining if everything is okay. Teach your children to get out of dangerous or uncomfortable situations right away and practice basic safety skills with them. Make sure they know they are able to tell you about anything that makes them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused.

*Copyright © 1993 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). All rights reserved.

Resources for additional information:

• Know the Rules...Summer Safety Tips for Children - This publication from the NCMEC can viewed online or downloaded.

• NCMEC Publications are available on their website to download or order free copies.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.) Check out all the Safety Saturdays posts for more safety tips.

Safety Saturdays #15 - MySpace Suicide: 6 Months Later

Jetlag from 15 hours of travel home from Ireland yesterday depleted my capacity to generate an original post today. Check out the NetSmartz Blog post this week with legal updates and what you should know about the MySpace suicide story. Six months ago, a Minnesota newspaper broke the tragic story of 13-year-old Megan Meier, who committed suicide after being cyberbullied on MySpace. Her death incited the nation to take action against cyberbullying.

Safety Saturdays (#14) - National Missing Children's Day

May 25th is National Missing Children’s Day.

You can make a difference in a child's life.

Sign up for free Wireless AMBER Alerts.

Talk to a child about safety. Take 25 is a program by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children developed to encourage parents, guardians, and other role models to spend time talking to kids to teach them ways to be safer. Click on the Take 25 button to learn more about risks children face and to find tools to teach them safety concepts, build their confidence and reassure them. Take 25's Conversation Starters page lists questions grouped by age (5-8, 9-12, and 13-17) to assist you in beginning discussions about safety online and offline. The site also has activity ideas and the discussion guidelines listed below:

• Be Prepared - Spend some time reviewing safety information before you communicate it to your children. That way, you’ll be better able to talk about the topic in a calm, reassuring manner.
• Consider your child’s age - Gear discussions to your child’s level, taking into account their age and understanding. For instance, a typical four-year-old won’t sit through long explanations or retain a lot of information, so simple visuals and activities can be useful in capturing their interest.
• Seize opportunities - Instead of waiting for “the right time” to talk to kids, make the most of everyday moments. A relaxed family meal provides the perfect opportunity to get kids to tune into safety messages, especially when favorite foods are on the menu. A car ride to school offers another great chance to talk to kids about safety.
• Be open - Encourage your children to talk openly about their questions and worries. Let them know you care about what happens to them by setting clear rules, but try not to lecture or criticize.
• Have fun - Child safety is a serious subject, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have an enjoyable time talking about it with your kids. Sing songs, tell stories, play games and interact with your kids in a way that makes them feel safe and loved. You’ll also help reinforce the message if you’re consistent in your approach.

Resources for additional information:

• Take 25 Safety Tips Poster -Download a list of 25 ways to make kids safer at home, on the net, going to and from school, and out and about.
• NetSmartz411 is parents' and guardians' premier, online resource for answering questions about Internet safety, computers, and the Web. You can search their library for information or ask the experts a question.
• NetSmartz Workshop provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety, including a blog about internet safety.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.) Check out all the Safety Saturdays posts for more safety tips. (This is a scheduled post. I am out of the country with limited internet access through May 30. I may have to wait to respond to questions and comments until I return.)

Safety Saturdays (#13) - Take 25

Safety Saturdays today and next Saturdary is devoted to Take 25, a program by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to encourage parents, guardians, and other role models to spend time talking to kids to teach them ways to be safer. Take 25 was started to commemorate National Missing Children’s Day on May 25th. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, more than 2,000 children are reported missing every day, and thankfully, the vast majority of them are recovered quickly.

Parents and guardians can reduce risks children face by teaching them safety concepts, reassuring them, and building their confidence. Click on the Take 25 button to learn more about abduction, sexual exploitation, and internet dangers; discussion guidelines; conversation starters; and activity ideas. The safety tips listed below were taken from the website.

25 ways to make kids safer

At Home

1. Teach your children their full names, address, and home telephone number. Make sure they know your full name.
2. Make sure your children know how to reach you at work or on your cell phone.
3. Teach your children how and when to use 911 and make sure your children have a trusted adult to call if they’re scared or have an emergency.
4. Instruct children to keep the door locked and not to open the door to talk to anyone when they are home alone. Set rules with your children about having visitors over when you’re not home and how to answer the telephone.
5. Choose babysitters with care. Obtain references from family, friends, and neighbors. Once you have chosen the caregiver, drop in unexpectedly to see how your children are doing. Ask children how the experience with the caregiver was and listen carefully to their responses.

On the Net

1. Learn about the Internet. The more you know about how the Web works, the better prepared you are to teach your children about potential risks. Visit http://www.netsmartz.org/ for more information about Internet safety.
2. Place the family computer in a common area, rather than a child’s bedroom. Also, monitor their time spent online and the websites they’ve visited and establish rules for Internet use.
3. Know what other access your child may have to the Internet at school, libraries, or friends’ homes.
4. Use privacy settings on social networking sites to limit contact with unknown users and make sure screen names don’t reveal too much about your children.
5. Encourage your children to tell you if anything they encounter online makes them feel sad, scared, or confused.
6. Caution children not to post revealing information or inappropriate photos of themselves or their friends online.

At School

1. Walk the route to and from school with your children, pointing out landmarks and safe places to go if they’re being followed or need help. If your children ride a bus, visit the bus stop with them to make sure they know which bus to take.
2. Remind kids to take a friend whenever they walk or bike to school. Remind them to stay with a group if they’re waiting at the bus stop.
3. Caution children never to accept a ride from anyone unless you have told them it is OK to do so in each instance.

Out and About

1. Take your children on a walking tour of the neighborhood and tell them whose homes they may visit without you.
2. Remind your children it’s OK to say NO to anything that makes them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused and teach your children to tell you if anything or anyone makes them feel this way.
3. Teach your children to ask permission before leaving home.
4. Remind your children not to walk or play alone outside.
5. Teach your children to never approach a vehicle, occupied or not, unless they know the owner and are accompanied by a parent, guardian, or other trusted adult.
6. Practice "what if" situations and ask your children how they would respond. “What if you fell off your bike and you needed help? Who would you ask?”
7. Teach your children to check in with you if there is a change of plans.
8. During family outings, establish a central, easy-to-locate spot to meet for check-ins or should you get separated.
9. Teach your children how to locate help at theme parks, sports stadiums, shopping malls, and other public places. Also, identify those people who they can ask for help, such as uniformed law enforcement, security guards and store clerks with nametags.
10. Help your children learn to recognize and avoid potential risks, so that they can deal with them if they happen.
11. Teach your children that if anyone tries to grab them, they should make a scene and make every effort to get away by kicking, screaming, and resisting.

Resources for additional information:

• Take 25 Safety Tips Poster -Download the above lists of 25 ways to make kids safer at home, on the net, going to and from school, and out and about.
• NetSmartz411 is parents' and guardians' premier, online resource for answering questions about Internet safety, computers, and the Web. You can search their library for information or ask the experts a question.
• NetSmartz Workshop provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety, including a blog about internet safety.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.) Check out all the Safety Saturdays posts for more safety tips.

Married with 13 Kids at 4

After Pumpkin told us about her 13 kids and husband, our dinner conversation diverted to the appropriate age for marriage - not an expected discussion with a 4-year-old.

Dad, "Husband? You can get married when you are 50."

Pumpkin, "How old are you Daddy?" (Laughter)

Me, "You do not have to be 50-years-old when you get married."

Pumpkin, "How old should I be, Mommy?"

Simultaneously, Dad, "50." Me, "Maybe 30."

Pumpkin, "I'm listening to my Mommy."

Dad, "Why aren't you listening to me? You should be 50."

Pumpkin, "How old were you when you got married?" (Laughter)

Dad, "You made me laugh with that question."

Me, "Oh, I think you are destined to be a negotiator, Pumpkin."

At 4, she outwits her parents. We're in trouble. Let's go back to what led to the dialogue. 13 kids? Did she say 13 kids? I cannot blame her Dad for focusing on husband? He will always see her this small in his hand.

Safety Saturdays (#11) - Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline

ONLINE ACRONYMS

Do all of the acronyms used in text messages, instant messages, chat rooms, social networking sites, and blogs, resemble a foreign language? What is the appeal? It saves time to type less, and parents usually cannot read the message. Try to read the message below and then read the translation.

Are you SITD? It may seem like FMTYEWTK. BTA, WIBNI you understood the QSO? Wouldn't you want to know if the message said A/S/L, WTGP, NIFOC, OLL, or LMIRL? N2M the warnings, such as P911, POS, and TAW. BTW, IHA. I HTH.

Translation:

Are you still in the dark (SITD)? It may seem like far more than you ever wanted to know (FMTYEWTK). But then again (BTA), wouldn't it be nice if (WIBNI) you understood the conversation (QSO). Wouldn't you want to know if the message said age/sex/location (A/S/L), want to go private (WTGP), naked in front of computer (NIFOC), online love (OLL), or let's meet in real life (LMIRL)? Not to mention (N2M), the warnings, such as my parents are coming (P911), parent over shoulder (POS), and teachers are watching (TWA). By the way (BTW), I hate acronyms (IHA). I hope this helps (HTH).

Resources for additional information:

• Online Chat Lingo Dictionary- 13 pages of Chat abbreviations from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
• Your Kids Can Fill in the Blanks. Can You? Brochure containings tips about how families may help protect their children from online sexual exploitation and a quiz to test family knowledge of commonly used chat acronyms.
• NetSmartz Workshop provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety, including a blog about internet safety.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.) Click on the "Safety Saturdays" label to the left to get more safety tips.

Safety Saturdays (#10) - Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline

CELLPHONES

Today's cellphones have become mini computers with the ability to search the internet, send e-mails, and send picture, video and text messages. Parents and children should discuss appropriate cellphone use for their family. You may want to check with your service provider to find out what options are available to disable internet and/or text messaging capabilities.

Text messaging allows users to send short messages to one another. This may replace emailing, chat rooms, and instant messaging for children who do not want their parent's to access this information on the family computer. Many children are being bullied through text messaging. If your child receives a harassing text, tell them not to respond, save the message, and tell a trusted adult. Remind them to never send a text with words that they would not use in person.

Remember once children send text, video, or pictures from their phone, they lose control. It can easily be forwarded to another phone or to the internet. Sending provocative pictures or videos of themselves or engaging in conversations of a sexual nature can put them at risk for exploitation.

Safety tips to discuss with your children:

• Never post your cellphone number online.
• Never respond to harassing text. Save the message and tell a trusted adult.
• Never send a text that says something that they would not say in person.
• Never send provocative pictures or videos of themselves.
• Remember once a text, picture, or video is sent, they lose control and cannot take it back.

Where can you get more information?

• NetSmartz411 is parents' and guardians' premier, online resource for answering questions about Internet safety, computers, and the Web. You can search their library for information or ask the experts a question. Click on the library tab and then the cellphones/iPods category for several articles about risks, safety, and monitoring cellphones.
• NetSmartz Workshop provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety, including cyberbullying.
• Wall Street Journal article, April 23, 2008, on cellphone tools that can filter uncensored web and chat.

Next week's post will provide information about CHAT LINGO, the foreign language of acronyms for texting, chats, and instant messaging. Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.) Click on the "Safety Saturdays" label to the left to get more safety tips.

Safety Saturdays (#9) - Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline

Instant Messaging

People, who are online at the same time, can send and receive messages instantly through Instant Messaging (IM). It differs from email because once you send the message, it appears on the other person's screen, as long as they are online, even if they are doing something else on the computer. Some popular IM services include AOL Instant Messenger, MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger and ICQ. The IM software can be downloaded to your computer for free.

Most services suggest creating an online profile. It is important to set your child's profile to private and to block messages from people your child does not know in real life. IM services may include the following features:

• Ability to share photos and videos
• Free computer to computer calling, which is similar to talking on the phone but through your computer
• Messaging through other devices, such as cellphones

What can you do?

• Log conversations (This is can be done through the service or using monitoring software.)
• Know who your child IMs
  
• Make sure your child knows he/she can come to you to discuss anything he/she encounter online that bothers him/her
  

Tell your child to

• Only communicate with people online that they know in real life
• Beware of friend of a friend
• Block people who send messages that are distressing or harassing
• Keep personal information private
• Never meet anyone in person first "met" online

Where can you get more information?

• NetSmartz Workshop provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety, including cyberbullying.
• NetSmartz411 is parents' and guardians' premier, online resource for answering questions about Internet safety, computers, and the Web. You can search their library for information, such as "How can I block instant message?" or ask the experts a question.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.) Click on the "Safety Saturdays" label to the left to get more safety tips.

Safety Saturdays (#7) - Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline

CYBERBULLYING - Talent Show

Cyberbullying is using technology, such as email, text messaging, blogs, and websites, to spread rumors and gossip; post pictures of someone without their consent; and/or embarrass, threaten, or harass someone. It can be easier for kids to bully in cyberspace because there is no face to face contact, they can be anonymous, and they do not see the immediate consequences to their actions.

According to a recent study,* 19% of teens report being harassed or bullied online. Among 16- and 17-year-olds, the incidence is 23%. Online harassment is particularly disturbing for children because 85% of cases happen in the comfort of their homes. Also, in 44% of cases, it is their peers who are harassing them.**

What can you do?

• Teach children not to respond to rude and harassing emails, messages, and postings.
• Save messages and other evidence, in case the situation escalates.
• If the harassment continues, have your child delete their current accounts and give new information only to a few people they know they can trust.
• Remind your kids to respect other people's privacy and feelings and not to be cyberbullies themselves.
• If you feel like your child is in immediated danger, contact your local law-enforcement agency.

Where can you find more information?

• Stop Cyberbullying provides information for parents and educators, plus age specific information for kids, ages 7-10, 11-13, 14-17.
• A project in Canada, which is helping kids who are dealing with the issues of bullying and teasing, provides further information about cyberbullying through one of their websites and an information sheet.
• NetSmartz Workshop provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety, including cyberbullying.
• NetSmartz411 is parents' and guardians' premier, online resource for answering questions about Internet safety, computers, and the Web.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.) Click on the "Safety Saturdays" label to the left to get more safety tips.

*Cox communications Inc., National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, and John Walsh. Teen Internet Safety Survey, Wave II. 2007

**Online Victimization of Youth: Five Years Later, National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2006.

Safety Saturdays (#4) - Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline

THINK BEFORE YOU POST

UPDATE: I am reposting this to update the link to the video.

A social networking site, such as MySpace, Facebook, or Xanga, is a place where teens can connect with others and create a page or profile. As of March 2007, 71% of teens have created online profiles; up from 61% in 2006.* Teens often post information only intended for friends, not realizing that it can be viewed by anyone. Once internet, the information can also be copied.

Find out if your teen has created a profile or webpage on a social networking site or through another service. If they have or plan to post information on the internet, review the potential risks. Here are some safety tips and discussion points:

• Set their profile to private.
• Restrict preferences so that search engines cannot access their profile/page.
• Only add people they know in real life to their friends/buddy list. Don't add a friend of friend if you don't know them personally.
• Do not post personally identifying information, such as their full name, phone number, school, places they hang out, or their schedule.
• Would they want their parents, future employer, or a college recruiter to read the information? Employers and college recruiters are increasingly searching the internet for information on potential candidates. What teens post now could affect their reputation, not only now but in the future.
• Don't post information about others that they would not want posted about themselves.
• Be mindful of information posted because even friends can become ex-friends and use information against them.

Where can you find more information?

• GetNetWise offers detailed instructions on how to make information more private in MySpace, Xanga, and Facebook.
• NetSmartz Workshop provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety.
• NetSmartz411 is parents' and guardians' premier, online resource for answering questions about Internet safety, computers, and the Web.

Next week, I will talk about posting pictures and videos. Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.) Click on the "Safety Saturdays" topic to the left to get more safety tips.

*Cox communications Inc., National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, and John Walsh. Teen Internet Safety Survey, Wave II. 2007

God's Pumice Stone

I subscribe to a weekly newsletter from Valerie Burton. This week she wrote that if you keep receiving the same message over and over, maybe God is trying to tell you something. Lysa Terkeurst told a beautiful story on her blog on Tuesday about God using her to speak to someone that she did not know. Their words opened my heart this week to listen for God to speak to me.

I have thought about writing a book about motherhood to include questions I receive, usually from strangers, about having a bi-racial child. I had begun to doubt the validity of the concept for the book. I was not sure how to delve deeper into the topic. I prayed for God to direct my writing.

Yesterday, a woman flagged me down on the street to give me a "tip" about caring for my daughter's hair. After what could be described as a pleasant exchange, she asked, "I wasn't too abrasive, was I?" I said no. Abrasive seemed too harsh a word to describe her actions.

More importantly, I did not want to continue a conversation I viewed as potentially harmful to my daughter. As she gets older, I worry about how she will interpret these interactions. I do not want her to think something is wrong with her or her beautiful curly hair.

When I told my husband about the encounter, it struck him as a little funny that the woman saw a "white" woman with a "black" child and wanted to help her out in caring for her hair. I said, "What's funny about that?" He said, "At least it is someone trying to be helpful instead of hateful." I replied, "Don't you think it is a little offensive that she thinks I do not know how to care for my child's hair." He had not looked at it that way but could not fully understand why it was upsetting to me. He suggested venting about it in my book. (Maybe God is trying to tell me something.)

One of the definitions for abrasive is "tending to annoy or cause ill will." If I was the same race as the woman on the street, I do not think she would have felt the need to enlighten me. Her assumption that I do not know how to care for my daughter's hair because we are not the same race definitely irritated me.

If I see these types of encounters strictly in terms of race, I cannot preserve my daughter's childhood innocence that does not see a race conscious world. She will be more influenced by my reaction than by the encounter. Ultimately, it is not about me. (Maybe God is trying to tell me something.)

Another definition for abrasive is "a substance used for smoothing or polishing." Yes, the woman was abrasive. God used her to smooth the callous that was forming on my heart. He used her to polish my perspective and my writing.

Safety Saturdays (#3) - Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline

Online Sexual Exploitation – Exchange

In 2006, The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children conducted a study of youth ages 10 to 17 to document online experiences. 1 in 3 children reported unwanted exposure to sexually explicit pictures. 1 in 7 children received an unwanted sexual solicitation or approach.

Online predators begin communicating with teens through chat rooms, instant messaging, and social networking sites. They take time to learn what interest teens today. They may communicate with several teens at the same time. Keep in mind that some offenders target males.

The ultimate goal of an online predator is to meet the teen in person. They devote a tremendous amount of time to manipulating the teen into trusting them. They can be extremely patient in this process. They offer teens attention and affection.

They are good listeners, listening for vulnerabilities they can use to exploit the teen. Is the teen flattered that someone older is interested in her/him? Does the teen feel misunderstood, lonely, isolated, rebellious? Has the teen expressed some curiousity about sex?

Although some people on the internet immediately initiate sexually explicit conversation, others may seek to lower a young person's inhibitions by slowly introducing sexual conversations. Offenders may send pornographic pictures to the teen. They also may request sexual pictures of the teen.

They may progress to using other means of communication, such as the phone, text messaging, or the mail. They often tell teen to keep relationship secret, saying other people will not understand. They may send the teen gifts, even plane tickets to visit them. If the person is closer to the teen's age, the teen may not fully understand the dangers to meeting the person offline.

What Are Some Behaviors that Can Put Your Child at Risk?

• Using a screenname that identifies their gender and age.
• Giving out personal information, such as full name, age, phone number, or school name, by sending it and/or posting it.
• Having a public profile that can be viewed by anyone on the internet.
• Adding people to their friends or buddy lists that they do not know offline.
• Posting or sending suggestive or provocative pictures.
• Communicating with people they do not know offline.
• Talking about sex with people they only know online.
• Agreeing to meet someone in person that they only "know" online.

What Can You Do to Protect Your Child?

• Communicate with your child about potential dangers.
• Teach them to trust their instincts and talk to you if something makes them feel scared, uncomfortable or confused.
• Make sure they know it is not their fault if they encounter a problem.
• Know what they are doing on line.
• Keep computer in common area rather than child's bedroom.
• Monitor your child's accounts.
• Consider parental controls available through your internet service provider, operating system, and/or monitoring software.
• Check safeguards of other places child can be online, such as library, school, friend's house.
• Be aware that an internet predator may also use other means of communication - phone, mail, text messaging.
• Check your phone bills for calls to/from numbers you do not recognize, especially long distance nubmers. Your child may not give out their number, but the offender may give out his.
• Report incidents of child exploitation to The CyberTipline or call 1-800-843-5678. Information will be forwarded to law enforcement for review and when appropriate, to internet service provider.

Where can you find more information?

• A Parent's Guide to Internet Safety from the FBI.
• NetSmartz Workshop provides on- and offline learning activities for parents to facilitate discussions with their children and teens about Internet safety.
• NetSmartz411 is parents' and guardians' premier, online resource for answering questions about Internet safety, computers, and the Web.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.)

Safety Saturdays (#2) - Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline

Blog Safety Tips for Teens

Many teens enjoy communicating and expressing themselves through social networking sites and blogs. They may not realize how the information could reach an unattended audience. Communicating with people they have only met online and giving out identifying information may put them at risk.

Knowledge and communication are essential tools you can use to keep kids and teens safer online. Clearly define rules and guidelines for internet use with your children. If you allow them to use social networking sites and/or have blogs, let them know you will be monitoring this privilege. Here are some specific tips to discuss with your children:

• Your child should never post identifying information, such as last name, address, school name, phone number, hang outs. It is important to avoid posting what could be used to locate her/him.
• Make sure photos do not have identifying information on shirts or in the background, such as school name, car's license plate, name of a mall, school sport's team. Your child should avoid posting anything that could be used to locate her/him.
• Your teen should be careful about information posted about her/his friends. Teach them to follow the first two tips for friends also and to make sure friends are not posting information that could put her/him at risk.
• They also should not post specifics about plans and activities that could be used to located him/her.
• Tell them to never respond to rude or harassing comments, to delete such comments, and block the "friend" if needed.
• Check the privacy settings for the service they are using. It is best to set it so that your teen has to approve who is added as a friend and that only approved friend's can view profile. For these settings to be effective, your teen must only add people they know as friends.
• Explain to your teen that people looking to harm them could use information posted in blog to gain their trust or to pretend they know her/him.
• Talk to your teen about never posting inappropriate comments about other teens.
• If your teen already has a blog, you may want to review it together and remove any information that could put them at risk.

For additional information on blog safety, be sure to check out "Blog Beware" from NetSmartz Workshop and Teen Guide To Safe Blogging at SafeTeens.com. Taking precautions and keeping communications open between you and your child can help your child safely enjoy blogging and social networking sites.

In future "Safety Saturdays" posts, I will continue to address safety issues surrounding what teens post online. Several posts will include short video messages that can also be viewed by young people.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a particular topic that you would like to see covered in a future post. (If you are not familiar with blogging, you can still leave a comment below. Just click the anonymous button and type your comment in the text box provided.)

Safety Saturdays - Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline #1

Kacie Woody is the reason why I am so passionate about internet safety. At 13, Kacie was a 7th grade honor student, who loved to sing and write poetry. She lived in a small rural area in Faulkner County Arkansas with her father, a police officer, and one of her older brothers. (Kacie's mother died in an automobile accident when Kacie was 7.) Because they lived in a rural area, it was long distance for Kacie to call many of her friends, so they communicated through the internet. They also began frequenting chat rooms.

In a Christian chat room, Kacie met an 18-year-old teenage boy, Dave, from California. After talking frequently online and by phone for six months, Kacie considered him her friend. Kacie was trusting and naive - probably more like our children than unlike them.

Dave was not Kacie's friend. He was a 47-year-old man from the San Diego area. On December 3, 2002, he abducted Kacie from her home and murdered her. Her death had a tremendous impact not only on her friends, family and community, but also on the investigators who worked on the case. I was one of the investigators in the San Diego area. In December 2002, I taped a printed copy of the picture of Kacie, posted above, on my computer to remind me why I worked to stop internet predators.

Kacie's story* continues to have an impact. Her father, Rick Woody, started the Kacie Woody Foundation to help fight internet predators. On their website, Mr. Woody states, "Kacie truly was an angel. It is my goal to educate as many parents and children as I can about the dangers of internet predators so this does not happen to someone else's little angel." I share Mr. Woody's goal.

I have my own little angel now. I no longer work in law enforcement, but Kacie's picture is taped to my computer. Now, it inspires me to use my knowledge to teach parents and children about safety issues. One of the ways I plan to do this is through a weekly post on my blog "Safety Saturdays" that will contain tips for keeping kids safe online and offline. (The tips will start next Saturday.)

"Regarding angels, he (God) says, the messengers are winds, the servants are tongues of fire." (Hebrews 1:7 - The Message) Kacie is an angel. Her story ignites passion to bring about change. I hope you will share Kacie's story and the "Safety Saturdays" tips with others to make a difference in a child's life, while there is still time.

*On the Kacie Woody Foundation website, you can read "Caught in the Web," a series of articles, written by Cathy Frye of the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, detailing Kacie's story.

Lessons from My Child

My daughter, 4 years old, was intently watching me brush my teeth this morning. She said, "You're doing it Mommy, like I showed you." She smiled, patted me on my back and said, "Good job, I knew you could do it."

This was quite encouraging because the night before, when I was helping her brush her teeth, she told me, "You're doing it all wrong. Let me show you." Apparently, I was not using her particular technique. You would think after 30 some years of brushing, I would know how to do it.

I just love that she took pride in teaching me something and wanted to praise me when she saw that I could do it. If she only knew just how much I am learning from being her mom....